Why do we, as parents go out of our ways to make things nice on holidays for our kids when they are either too young to remember, too ungrateful to care or too unappreciative to even say thank you.
Have you ever wondered about that? I know I have. We don't have any family that comes to our house for the holidays. It's just me, Rich and the kids (for the most part) and yet, I find myself baking endless amounts of cookies and goodies, hams and turkeys. I make homemade crafts and ornaments with the kids. I cook food out the wazoo. I clean and clean (and clean some more when the kids trash it). I decorated everything so that it looks nice. And really, I mean seriously who cares about all of that stuff?
Am I doing it so that the kids will have great memories of the holidays when they grow up? Am I doing it to make myself feel good about being a good mother or wife? Am I doing it just because I've always done it? It's not like I have to prove anything to anybody, especially when there isn't anyone coming over. No one really sees all the stuff that I do. The presents that I took hours to wrap and place bows and ribbons just so on the package, gets ripped off in a matter of seconds. The photos that I took hours to get just the right one (or close enough to the right one), just gets thrown in a box with other photos that no one really looks at again. Same thing with the cards that I painstakingly (and yes, writing out eight people's names on 30 some cards gets pretty painful), either gets thrown out or just tossed in another box. The hours that I spend standing in the stores debating on what game to buy (one that they won't lose the pieces to on the very first day), what books, I think they might like, what clothes I think might look nice on them or that they would like or that will stand up to the many tests of 4 ornery, rambunctious boys or the pickiness of 2 snobby girls. Or the time spent agonizing what to buy for friends, family, the kids' teachers, etc.
So why do I do these things? Why does anyone do these things? What's the point in it - Really? I think about these things every year, and I still don't have an answer (and I probably never will).
You know, I was a lot like this. Then I started asking myself a lot of questions and asking others too. Then we got a wonderful new pastor at our church. He really asked me a lot of hard questions and loved me enough to tell me so tough stuff about myself.
ReplyDeleteAfter a two year journey, I found that I stopped doing a lot of the the things I used to always do...and do you know what? The world didn't fall apart. And even better, I started enjoying a simpler life and my kids started enjoying me more too.
It is a very liberating feeling. I hope that you might be able to find yourself on this journey too and find liberty at the end.
I couldn't agree with you more! But for me I think apart of it is I try not to loose the holiday spirit and excitement I had as a kid. So, in some ways I think for me, all the decorating and wrapping is for me too =)
ReplyDeleteJoan, I think you might be right. I think the holiday has always been sort of magical in a way and it's kind of like reliving all those little things I liked about it growing up.
ReplyDeleteCorrie, I see your point too. For years I did just do the really simple things and no one including me was really happy about it...I guess that's the difference?? I don't know.