oh, and by the way....

these two are 17 today...

how the heck did that happen?

I only blinked for a second.

happy birthday babies....

zach and sarah

no slowing down.....

my life has been on full spin cycle for months.
no wonder i've been so stressed out.

first, rich got hurt and needed another back surgery...then, whitney moved in
and she came with her own set of issues
which we worked through and she is in a much, much better place now.
and then i started a new job (while still in school).

yep, this momma right here...is a working girl again.

it's just part time as a substitute teaching assistant, but
it has been so much fun...i really love it.

not only do i get to hang out with my favorite kind of people

kids

but i get paid to play all day ha!
who wouldn't love that kind of job?!

seriously, though it's a perfect job for me.
i get paid experience - which will come in handy when i finish my degree
i get my foot in the door with a great community company
i get to network and meet tons of interesting people
i get tons of ideas from crafty, loving, trained professionals in my chosen field
i get lots of little people hugs and so much more.
there are so many benefits to this job, it's crazy how it fits perfectly into my life.

nothing makes my day brighter than walking into a room and having 20 or so little faces smiling and screaming....yay -  ms charlene is here!!!

i seriously do love it.

i often have to pinch myself to remember that its not just a dream
this is my reality now.

it's funny how when you find the right fit for your life how everything just seems to 'feel' better.
i don't think i've ever been happier with my career choice.
i love being a mom and i love 'staying' home and being here for my kids whenever they need me
i love being a wife and caring for my husband.
but i also love this opportunity...and i know that this is my 'calling' in life.

i have always loved children
(gee, who would have guessed being a mom of 6, right?)
i'm so glad God was able to finally get his message across
and that i finally listened.

life is so full of adventure and fun
and i'm glad that i can enjoy it.

my whole point in sharing this is
i'm busy,
but i still love creating and sharing
and while my blog has been hit or miss lately
(okay --- really miss lately!)
i'm still around and i will share when i get time
and i truly appreciate all of you who are hanging out with me

weight loss redux

here's my little confession....

not that it's any big deal, because i am human, after all,

but i am back on my diet (yep, nutrisystem) - only this time i'm not endorsing it.

i'm just doing it on my own.

i went back and forth on whether i wanted to share this publicly.

not that it's any big deal or secret, but i did gain a little bit of the weight back

after i went off the diet...not much, just 10 pounds {gasp!}

like i said that's not much in the grand scheme of things.

problem wasn't with the diet or really anything that i did wrong.

it's just that i was under a great deal of stress and my body decided

it didn't want to play along.

i'm human, like i said

i think it happens to the best of us

i wasn't going to say anything publicly about it, because i was embarrassed
that i gained some of the weight back,
but like i said its not like the diet failed me,
or anything i did wrong, my body just had enough of the stress.

the more i thought about not sharing, the more i knew that i had too.

not just for me (needing some accountability)

but for those that struggle with their weight.

it's a lifelong battle for some of us, unfortunately.

some of us are blessed with good genes and some of us...

eh, not so much.

while undergoing all the pressure i was going through

with school, my husband re-injuring himself, my kids, my life,

and about a dozen other things, i ended up having a lot of anxiety and chest pain.

even ended up in the er one night...i thought i was having a heart attack

turns out, it was what they call costochondritis, which is just a fancy name

for we can't find anything wrong with you, so we will make up a new name for

this unsolved mystery.  i underwent a battery of tests...
ekg, stress test, ct scan, blood work, chest xrays, etc.
they couldn't find a damn thing wrong with my heart.

not that, that's a bad thing, right?

all that anxiety and stress just added to my misery and pain, and weight gain.
you know those commercials about stress and belly weight...um, yep, it's true.
most of the weight that i gained was all in the belly area.

but not to fear, i am back on my diet...and i'm back to walking...i'm on anti anxiety meds
and life is slowly getting back to normal - whatever that may be.

like i said, i am writing this post to hold myself accountable (publicly)
and to tell folks that crap happens....and you can either just let it keep happening
or you can get up and fight.
i'm choosing to fight.  i will conquer this weight and when i'm through
i'm going to walk away like a boss!

feel free to join me - follow me - share your stories with me, etc.
we can do this - together.
i got your back!

in the meantime,
lace up those walking shoes,
drink some water
and
remember, life is a journey
and there are lots of bumps along the way.
so, hang on tight and enjoy the ride.