Friday, October 05, 2012

life's little things.

I noticed that my birthday girl post has been popular lately not sure why,
 
but it prompted me to re-read it and to look at another post that I wrote a few days before that one...about my 40th b-day.
 
When I wrote that post, I was reflecting on my life so far
 
and the new goals that I was setting for myself.
 
One of them was going back to college.
 
and I have.
 
I can't say that it hasn't been scary
 
and some days I have no idea what I'm doing or why I even decided to do it,
but it's been worth it.  I feel so great about myself.
 
Pass or Fail
 
just knowing that I took a risk, I jumped off the cliff and tried something new, has boosted my self esteem by leaps and bounds.  It's been amazing so far.
 
Another goal that I had was to lose weight and be healthy
 
and I'm sure if you've been a follower of my blog, you know all about my weight loss journey.
 
Again, it hasn't been easy.
 
there are days where I want to give up and bury myself in a tub of ice cream, but I don't.
there are days where I just don't feel like exercising, but I do.
 
Sure, there are some people who say....Nutrisystem, all you do is eat the food they send you and you lose weight.
 
While that may be true for a handful of people, it's not true for everyone.
 
If you really want to lose the weight and keep it off, you need to learn how to eat the right combination of food.  You need to exercise.  It's NOT easy.
 
and even when you are eating the right foods and exercising, it's still not easy.
 
It takes alot out of you emotionally.
 
when you have been overweight for so long, there are so many emotions and demons and battles and struggles that you have to fight.
 
every.single.day.
 
It's hard work, dedication and determination.
It's believing in yourself, that YOU can do it.
It's having a wonderful support system of people who love you and make you see that you can do it (and sometimes shoving you out the door).
It's learning how to step, jump or climb over obstacles and hurdles.
 
There will be rough days
There will be weeks when you don't lose weight
There will be times when you just want to give up
 
But
 
You are worth this.
I am worth this.
 
next week, it will be 6 months since I started this journey.
 
and the whole point of this post, was that as I was re-reading those old posts from just 6 short months ago, I was looking at the pictures.
 
And WOW, have I come a long way....
 
(180 before ----------  155 now)
 
I say now, as opposed to after, because I'm no where near being done.  I'm not even quite half way.
 
but, I'm getting there. 
 
see that orange jacket?
I couldn't even button it up
now I can wrap it around myself.
 
I sat here literally crying, because I can't believe how far I've come.
 
It feels good.
 
It feels DAMN good!
 
The best part is I feel healthy.
6 months ago
I couldn't walk up stairs without getting out of breath, if there was an elevator, I used it.
Now I walk the stairs all the time, all day long when I'm on campus,
with a 20 pound back pack, no less.
 
I think most people know that I have asthma...it's pretty severe.
The doctor said that even if I lost all the weight, I will still have it....but by losing weight I can reduce my chances of dragging around an oxygen tank for the rest of my life.  I can reduce my chance of needing a cpap machine to breath at night.  I can reduce the amount of meds that I take.
 
I've already gone from taking four different drugs, sometimes twice a day...to one drug twice a day.
Just losing weight over all has made me more healthy and stronger.
I was always getting sick, at least once a month.....the last time I was sick was probably 3 months ago.
 
I can't say thank you enough to the people who are supporting me through all this.
 
I'm so glad I decided life was a journey and it's way more fun living it, than watching it pass me by.
I say bring on...life....bring it on
I'm ready for ya!


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