Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Seriously considering sleeping pills

I don't know what my problem is, but I feel like crap most of the time. Just tired and worn out, I think. In the morning I struggle to get up. I'm lucky in the fact that Rich will get up with the kids and watch them for me, most of the time. Well, really watch Nathan and Nicholas because the older kids can pretty much watch themselves while I sleep. Anyway, Rich will get up with the kids because I'm just so tired that I can't do it. Then, he will get me up and I'm on my own and I drink coffee and Coke by the gallon just trying to stay awake.

At night, I can't sleep (maybe it's all the caffiene I consumed during the day coming back to haunt me, I don't know), I will stay up or toss and turn for most of the night. Last night I finally fell asleep around 4:30. It's terrible and I hate it. I am seriously considering taking sleeping pills in the hopes that I can regulate my sleep pattern. My only fear and what holds me back from taking them is that I'm afraid something would happen and I'd be knocked out, you know? I guess I'm just not thinking because I know damn well that Rich would be up in a heart beat if something happened. Even though he's a deep sleeper, he can still hear and will get up over the most quiet thing. Things you think he can't hear, he does. It's weird!

Maybe I should just give in and take them one night, just to see if they work. It couldn't hurt, right? And then I would know if that was the problem or if it was something else. If I take them and it works and I get my sleep straighten out, how great would that be?! It's not like I would have to be dependant on them, it would just be sort of like getting over the hump and fixing this problem. I mean, how else do you fix insomnia? Because I have no idea, but I am so tired of being tired. I'm tired of having my eyes hurt and burn from lack of sleep. I'm tired of telling my kids that I can't play, because I'm so tired. I'm tired of falling asleep at odd times during the day, because my body is trying to catch up on sleep any way it can.

I think I'm going to give it a try and hope it works. It doesn't hurt to try, right?
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