Friday, October 25, 2013

pretty little jars

It's so weird when your kids get older

I didn't realize it much until today
I mean it hits me at the beginning of the school year, when I'm taking pics of fewer kids. 
But since Anthony still lives here and Amanda is home a lot and they indulge me by letting me take annual photos of them, well, maybe it's more like I bribe, err ok nag them and they just do it
The feeling just doesn't faze me until I start looking at old pics. 
Tonight it hit me...I used to have 6 little ones to dress up every Halloween.
Now I just have two and Nicholas is really phasing out of it too.  He doesn't really want to dress up, he just wants a mask to wear.   Damn these kids - why don't they stop growing up already!


I said it before and I'll say it again, 
I wish I could bottle up all the memories and put them in pretty little jars on a shelf and take them down when I want to remember all those precious moments. 

when the kids are little, you are just in survival mode
you feel like you are walking through the fog
and then just like that, the fog lifts and it's all over.

where does that time go.
where did those little babies go

it's not like parenting gets any easier....believe me.

it's just different.

instead of worrying about why they are crying and if they are eating enough...
you worry about whether they will be safe driving for the first time on their own or how hurt they will be when their first real crush dumps them.

you will never stop being a parent. 
so, while I sit here and think about all the holidays and happy moments and the pics that have fewer and fewer kids in them...I realize that the amount of people in those pics might get smaller,
but the memories and love just grows bigger.

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