Monday, September 22, 2014

need to please disease

Do you suffer from the "need to please" disease?

Lord knows, I sure do.

I say yes to almost everything and I almost always end up feeling overwhelmed
and stressed and emotionally drained trying to "do it all."

And on those {very} rare occasions that I do stick to my guns and say no, 
I feel sick to my stomach and incredibly guilty.  The guilt almost consumes me.  
It eats away at my soul and my spirit fills with dread.

The other day, I took Nicholas shoe shopping at the mall.
After we purchased his new shoes, 
we walked past the bookstore and the lure of the bargain bin had me hooked.
The next thing I know a half hour had passed.
Not that I had enjoyed the time as Nick was looming over me the whole time.
He insisted on standing next to me like an overbearing shadow all the while asking me if he could borrow three dollars for a deck of cards from the card shop.

I kept telling him no, not today.
he kept asking....begging
and saying he would pay me back as soon as we got home.

It wasn't the money I was worried about
I simply just had no desire to stop there.
I really just didn't "feel" like it.

I didn't even want to go shoe shopping, but the boy needed them so we had to go.

As we were passing the card shop on the way out
Nick proceeded to beg and plead some more.

I refused and as we walked to the car, that overwhelming cloud of doom grew bigger and bigger.
I could feel my heart racing, my anxiety level rising and my "mom guilt" kick in.
I didn't give in to him....
but, I sure wanted to.

The rest of the day, I felt horrible.

his endless pleas of 

it's only $3 mom
it will only take me five minutes to run in and back out.

kept playing in my head like a broken record.

I was consumed with dread, sick to my stomach with an empty void where my heart should have been, for not pleasing my child's desire to just "grab one deck of cards."

Even though that day I said no,
I often find myself saying yes.
yes, to so many things
things I have no desire to do
and no time to fulfill
often those things go undone
(which leads to even bigger issues).
but I can't help myself, 
it's almost ingrained in my mind to say yes.
I somehow feel obligated to say it.

Why do we let ourselves feel so consumed by this need to please and let it overwhelm our souls to the point of physically and emotionally destroying our well beings. 
It's such a sickening disease - this need to please.

That's why when I saw Lysa Terkeurst's new book "The Best Yes" I just knew I had to read it.

Do you suffer from the "need to please" disease?
You can join Lysa and her team in an online Bible study group.
it's free, you only need the book, a Bible, a highlighter or pencil, tablet and a desire to seek a "cure."

find out more here....

Proverbs 31 Ministries Online Bible Studies

*Disclosure: I am not being paid for this post....I'm just sharing, because I felt led to do so.


coach-daddy said...

My kids definitely don't get all they desire. And that in itself might be the best gift I can give them. Wonderful post!

Charlene Juliani said...

Believe me, my kids don't get everything they want either :) but it's still hard sometimes to tell them no when you really want or wish you could say yes. but I agree, it's probably best to not give them everything...especially in today's world ;) thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment!