The Forbidden

When I was younger (we're talking high school days - way back in the dark ages), I would use my mother's things. Mainly her shampoo, soap, lotion - stuff like that. It would drive her crazy. I thought she was just being stupid, being upset over that kind of thing. I mean really, it's just shampoo, right? But this really made her mad, I didn't really understand it --- until now.

Amanda uses my stuff ALL the time. It drives me absolutely bonkers! It's not that I mind it, it's just that I buy special shampoo and stuff for everyone. Rich likes his stuff, I buy kid stuff (like Loreal) and then I buy myself some. I told her not to use my shampoo, because I had just gotten some for the kids.

Well, she did use it. And now that the bottle was almost empty, I bought something else. This time for blondes (thinking she wouldn't use it, because she has red hair). Not only is she using the new shampoo (for blondes), she has left that other almost empty bottle of shampoo in the shower for weeks now. You would think that now, since I told her she could use it, she would. But of course she hasn't touched it. I don't want to throw it away, because it still has shampoo in it.

Why does she do that? Honestly it's like she was using the other stuff, simply because she was told not too and now that she's allowed the appeal to use it is gone. Now I know why my mother kept saying "When you have kids, I hope you have one just like you." I must have driven her insane, LOL!

Stay at home mom meet Working mom

I know that all moms are working moms. But I've been a sahm for over 13 years. I started staying home, when Anthony was a baby and he's almost 14. Through the years, I've had various jobs (just extra money to either make ends meet, or have spending money). But I have always considered myself a stay at home mom.

I've been working as a certified nursing assistant for almost 5 years (April). I love the job, but it is hard work. I should say I love the residents (patients), but the work itself is hard. It's hard getting attached to those folks, when you know they are at the end of their lives. It's hard taking care of them, meeting their basic needs. Helping them bath, get dressed, sometimes feeding them, changing their diapers. It's hard thinking that someday, that could be me. I really do like my job. It kind of makes me feel like I have a purpose, not that staying home doesn't do that. But it's just different, making your own money, contributing financially to the family.

When I first starting working Rich would make it a big point to show me what all the extra money was going to. Like we had extra money to buy the kids new bikes. And he made it a big point to show and tell the kids that mom's job paid for them. It made me feel important.

I like staying at home, don't get me wrong. I love seeing my children's faces when they look for me in the crowd at an event and find me sitting there watching them. I love being to one they run to when they have things that need to be solved. I love being home in general. And it makes it really hard sometimes when I have to go to work. Hearing Nathan crying as I close the door, leaves me in tears on my way to work. Not being able to go to one of the kids' concerts, or sporting events makes me feel like I'm being left out of something. It makes me feel like a bad mom.

But I also know there are times when I just have to suck it up and deal with it, cause I'm a big girl. Like now, with the holidays being over, and going over board with gifts, someone has to make extra money. Our situation is different now that Rich is hurt and can't work. He gets a fixed income, which is substanial, but doesn't always pay for the extra stuff we need, or want. So now that lies on me. I have to make the extra money and I have to suck it up on the days where I just want to be at home. I guess that's just life and we all have to deal with it.

For the next month or so (especially this coming month), I have to be a big girl and deal with it missing the twins play basketball and Amanda's play practice. But that's okay. I might bitch and whine about it, but in the end, I know it's what I have to do. So I'll just do it. Hopefully when things settle down at work and maybe they hire a couple of new people I can go back to working just a few days a week. Instead of almost everyday of the week.

The Joys Of Christmas

The gifts are unwrapped and all over the floor, the kids are winding down from their sugar highs, and Mom and Dad are exhausted!

Seriously, I fell asleep around 5 or so, got up around 9 and then fell asleep again around 11. Rich did basically the same thing. Thankfully Amanda helped out and watched her younger siblings. They were all busy playing with their new toys to pay much attention to the fact the mom and dad were beat.

They had a good time, and nice Christmas, at least I think so anyway. They all made out like bandits. Amanda and Anthony each got laptops and cell phones, and accessories for both things. They each got PJs, slippers, gloves, candy, etc. Amanda got two cds, make-up, and much more. Anthony got a Rubik's cube (he wanted it), 2 Harry Potter DVDs, and other stuff.

The younger kids all got PJs, undies and socks. They got a computer to share.

Sarah got a Nintendo DS, and games to go with it, 3 cds, a DVD, lip gloss, easy bake mixes, etc. Zachary got a Nintendo DS, and games to go with it, DVD, a bunch of Army guys, bioncles, Magnetix and other stuff.

Nicholas got a VSmile book thing for it, 2 books to go with it, a VSmile controller VSmile games, a Pirate of the Caribbean Pirate Ship, Pirates to play with, Magnetix, 4 DVDs, Leap pad books etc.

Nathan got clothes, Meganetix, Little People Police Car, Little plastic Hot Wheels (by Fisher Price?), a car carrier for his little car thing, a race track thing for his little car things, and other things.

Both little boys got Geo Track stuff (road and a new controller), new cars, other things to share.

They all got Playdough, coloring books, crayons, construction paper, games, and just a bunch of junk.

I got Rich a new pair of PJs, and a razor kit thing, he got me, new slippers and gloves. We decided not to do much for us, since we did it big for the kids. We took lots of pictures and I think we all had a nice time.

The Night Before Christmas

THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
by Clement Clarke Moore


'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;

And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,

So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,

With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,

Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."


Merry Christmas everybody!!

Christmas Eve

Back when I was a kid, I remember my dad always being gone all day on Christmas eve. I asked my mother once why is was gone and she said he was out shopping. My dad would apparently wait until Christmas eve to shop for my mother or what other gifts he was buying. Now whether my mother was a snooper or my dad was just a procrastinator, I don't really know. But this day always reminds me of my father!

My dad has been gone for 13 years now, but I miss him like he just passed away. I know my mother moved on, got remarried. My dad didn't die on Christmas eve, he passed in May. But Christmas eve always brings me back to my dad. I adored my father, like I'm sure most little girls do. He was my hero literally and figuratively.

Once when I was little, I remember a bat flying in my window at night and I screamed until my dad (who had trouble walking) ran into my room. I had the covers thrown up over my head and my dad asked why I was screaming. When I explained there was something in my room (at that point I didn't know what it was) and pointed in the direction it flew. My dad didn't take it lightly. He didn't make fun of me or think I was being foolish. He found the bat and said it was just a baby. No bigger than his thumb and he let him back out the window. I still had the covers over my head when my dad came over and pulled them down.

I don't remember my dad being overly compassionate, I don't remember my dad being the one who punished me when I was bad. I do remember once him threatening me with his belt. But I was my daddy's little girl and I don't think he could have ever laid a hand on me. I think he realized how hard my mother was with me, and to make up for it, I could do no wrong with him. My brother and I were pushing a big box down our stairs when we got the idea we could ride in it. Well Charlie got in and I pushed him down and Charlie almost went through the floorboards (it was a very old house ridden with termites - we later found out). My dad was livid. He made Charlie stand in the corner even though Charlie explained that I pushed him. Dad just said, well I guess you shouldn't have got in that box in the first place.

It occured to me after he died that I really didn't know my dad. I had heard so many stories at the viewing and funeral about my dad. I think most people loved him. He would help anyone out that needed it. I'm sure he would have given the shirt off his back for someone. But I never really got to know him. I know he loved me. I know he loved me alot.

I also think he knew that he was dying. Or going to die soon, because once a few months before he died he made me sit on his lap like I used to do when I was a little girl. And I said dad, I'm going to hurt you (because, I was eight months pregnant and he had already had three mini strokes and a broken hip) and he said I could never hurt him. He told me that he loved me. He said that he didn't really like Rich (only teasing me) but he thought Rich was a good man and that he would take good care of me.

Shortly after that I had Anthony. While I was in the hospital (this was in March), my dad stopped by everyday on his way home from work to visit with me. He would stay for a few mintues or a few hours, but he stopped everyday. My dad died in May that same year. When his friend's wife called me, I knew why she was calling. I even said, my dad's dead isn't he. I don't know why I felt that way, I've done that with a few other people I was close to. But I knew.

Now as a parent, I hardly ever get the chance to just sit and think about my dad. And Christmas eve is generally so busy that it's hard to remember things. Especially when you are running around at the last minute trying to get everything done. But sometimes, like today while you are running around, you remember that your dad was always running around too. Maybe he's running right beside me, helping me remember everything I need to do. I'd like to think so.

Family Christmas Party

Today was my family Christmas party. We just do this with my side of the family, because Rich's mother and sister are too far away. We had alot of fun.

We did a Chinese auction with the adult gifts. I got a box of about twenty picture frames, and mats for the frames. Rich got a gift card for Lowe's which was perfect for him. My mother gave him a gift card from Home Depot as well, so he is all set in that department. My mother gave me a cute shirt, and a little glass angel.

The kids made out like bandits. My mother gave them each a 20 bill. My sister gave them various gifts such as; Nathan a playdoh set, Nicholas matchbox cars, Amanda perfume, Anthony a little basketball hoop and ball, Zachary also got matchbox cars, Sarah got a Hello Kitty purse/stationary set. My brother and his wife gave them clothes from Old Navy. And they got candy and other stuff. So they are flying high.

Speaking of flying high, Rich gave Amanda and Anthony one of their presents early. They got Crazers from Verizon (cell phones). They have been downloading songs (because it is also an MP3 player), putting their friends into the phone books and taking pictures like crazy.

We had alot of good food, fun laughs and just an all around good time. I took a ton of pictures and added them to my photobucket account. All in all it was a nice day. Despite me having to run around at the last minute to buy three gifts, plus ground beef to make my pot luck dish. We ended up being about an hour or so late. But my family knows how I'm always running around like a nut and how I'm always late for everything.

Oh and I was pleasantly surprised when my sister said she goes to my photobucket account and downloads pictures of the kids. And how she is constantly showing everyone who doesn't believe I have six kids their pictures. It was funny and neat at the same time. I think it's because I have always looked up to her. I mean she is my older sister and all, but I have always wanted to be like her, or something like that. Anyway I just thought it was neat that she was looking and showing off her nieces and nephews. I was wondering how I had so many hits on there. I get like 500-2,000 every month. And I know I look alot and download things, but not that much.

*** pictures of the party; my brothers and sister (my twin brother is the one of the end); a picture of all the cousins; me and Rich and the kids; siblings and spouses***

Winter Break Means No Break For Mom

The kids had a half day of school today. They had their holiday parties and the teachers hyped them up on candy and sent them home -- Thanks!

My kids do fight on occassion, but it's not always that bad. Except for today, I for the life of me, can not figure out what got into them! Sarah is whining worse than Nathan. Constant whining from her! Amanda and Anthony feel the need to scream, instead of talk. Zachary, Nicholas and Nathan are running around like lunatics! With more screaming!

My poor head!

I'm scrambling around trying to get things done for Christmas. One package, Rich paid to have overnighted is delayed 24 hours!? He's in pain from his back, so he is grouchy.

Where is our Christmas spirit?

Oh and here's the really fun part. I stayed up last night trying to get some things done, i.e. bake cookies, put the teachers' gifts together, etc. Well, at some point I was exhausted and sat down and proceeded to fall asleep. In the meantime, I left all the cookie stuff out. We're talking melted chocolate, chocolate chips, peanut butter, etc. I guess when Nathan got up, he was hungry. So he helped himself to not only the cookies I had made, but also to the melted chocolate and other things. Rich woke me up. My Gosh, what a mess that little boy made.

I guess the good thing is that if something happened to me and I was deblitated for some reason, Nathan really could take care of himself and fix something for himself to eat, huh?

Holiday to do list, so far....UPDATED!!

Thought it would be easier to do if I had it written out somewhere, so I can check things off as I get them done. And hopefully get most of them done within the next few days, so all I will have to do is finish the shopping when the money is here. I already have my ham, I got that a few weeks ago from work. They gave out 14 pound hams for a gift. So I threw mine in the freezer to make on Christmas day (I usually make a ham on Christmas day anyway, so that was one big expense I didn't have to worry about).

1. First and foremost, I can not control the postal service. So I need to get the cards finished and mail those suckers today! I don't know how long it will take the post office to deliver them, but I can at least get them in the mail and cross my fingers that people will get them before Christmas ----- DONE!!

2. Decorate my naked tree. I already started doing this in spurts. As I walk by it, I will throw things on it. I already did the lights and garland. Now, I need to finish the rest of it and throw some other decorations around as well. ----- DONE!!

3. Wrap the gifts I already have and make a list of them. So I can see, who has what and what else I need. Make another list of things that I will need to buy. ----- IN PROCESS!!

4. Bake cookies. I did tell Sarah she could help me. I will have to decide what else I need and make a list for the store. Some things I already have, so I can make some cookies. I will just have to make the rest later. -----IN PROCESS!!

5. Figure out what I need for my family's party on Saturday. At least it's not here this year, so I don't have the mad dash of cleaning that would go along with that. But I need to make something to take with us. And I need to get a few small gifts (nothing expensive) for my nieces and nephew. Also, Rich will have to get a gift for the Chinese auction thing we do with the adults. I already got mine. I would have gotten him something too (I still might) but I thought he might like to get something for himself. ----- JUST NEED 3 MORE PRESENTS!

6. Clean the house. It's not out of control dirty. Just messy, so I will need to get that done as well. ----PUT THE KIDS TO WORK ON THIS!!

7. Shop for the rest of the gifts I need. And decide what I'm making for Chirstmas dinner and buy the things I'll need for that.---- ALREADY HAVE DINNER PLANNED AND PAID FOR - JUST NEED TO FINISH THE GIFTS!!

I think that is all I have to do. But I need to get started ---- NOW!

Christmas is a week away!

You would think that after my last post about Christmas that I would be freaking out knowing that Christmas is only a week away. But I'm not! Today, I feel amazingly calm. I think that part of it is I have to work today, so my mind is occupied with that. And part of it is the fact that we don't have any money until Thursday when I get paid and more money comes in from other sources. So it's not like I can panic over presents when I can't buy them anyway. I can't make the cookies when I'm working, so there is no need to panic over that either. Besides if I made them, they would be gone in a day in my house, so it's probably a good thing I'm waiting to make them. Plus, some of them require ingredients that I don't have and would need to go to the store to buy anyway (and we don't have money for that right now).

Normally we would be okay financially, but the holidays are kicking us in the ass. We have been buying almost everything in cash. We did use one or two cards, but nothing to worry about. Rich is so good with money anyway, which is why we can afford the things we do. But Christmas with six kids is expensive, especially when we had decided to buy some pretty pricey stuff this year.

I'm sure we could have gotten away with less, but last year we really didn't get them that much. Not because we didn't have the money, but we were trying to teach them a lesson. They were so obnoxiously bad last year, it would of been a sin to get them a lot of presents. So we basically got things they needed and bought a few games to make up for the ones they lost or broke. I mean they were so bad as in a window had gotten broken, because someone threw a toy at it in anger. None of them did their chores worth a damn, among many other things. So with last year being so slim, we decided to go all out this year. I'm not sure they deserve it, but I guess no one broke a window this year.

I will probably start panicking again tomorrow or at the very least Friday. But today I'm not freaking out over anything!

Random Acts of Kindness

Someone blessed me with a random act of kindness! Took me by surprise.

I had to return Nicholas' new winter coat, because the zipper got stuck and I couldn't fix it. They ended up giving me a new coat. But that wasn't the act of kindness. That came after. I was standing in line at the store waiting my turn when I mentioned that my lips were sore and chapped. I was just talking out loud, you know making conversation.

The lady in front of me said, yeah that's why a keep a tube of chapstick in my purse.

I said yeah I do too, but one of my kids must of ran off with it cause I can't find it.

She said, her kids would of too, but she hid it in her purse.

So I get the new coat and I'm looking around at other things for Christmas, when this lady came up behind me and handed me a tube of Avon chapstick and said Merry Christmas.

I said where did this come from.

And she said out there and pointed at the Avon stand in the mall.

I said are you serious?

And she said yes, I know what chapped lips feel like and it hurts. So Merry Christmas and then she took off while I was saying Thank you, thank you so much. Merry Christmas to you too.

How neat was that?!

I was feeling alittle blue lately and I told Rich I was hating Christmas. He said I hate Christmas too. And I said you only deal with it for me don't you. And he said yep! So between what Rich said and then that lady appeared and I'm filled with joy. I think that was God sticking his nose in. He does that on occassion But I really needed it, not only because my lips hurt, but because my spirit was hurting too.

Are you ready for Christmas?

That is a question I have heard non-stop for the past few weeks. Everytime I hear it, I go into panic mode!

No, I'm not ready for Christmas. I don't think I ever will be! I only have 9 days left and only a few presents. Work keeps calling me and asking if I can come in and work. Well, gee maybe if I wasn't running around shopping and trying to get caught up, I would. But I promised that I would bake cookies with Sarah, I have a bare tree standing in the family room, which I have also promised we would decorate. And too many other things to mention.

I did get most of my cards done and sent out. But even those I didn't finish. I still have about 10-12 to make out for family members. And at least Amanda helped clean the house, so that is off my mind as well. Oh and yeah I did get the outside decorations done, so that is another less thing to worry about. But I still feel like freaking out!!

Rich and I are running out in a little bit to get some shopping done. So hopefully that will ease my mind some. I only have to work Tuesday, unless they ask me to come in, which they already did today (I don't think I'm going to do it). So that should give me some time to get things done this week.

I'm always wondering why I go to so much trouble to make things nice for the kids. I guess I just want them to be happy and have a nice memory of Christmas. If only they would remember all the good things, and not the bad. If they remember the thought behind the presents, the surprises, the way our house looked like Christmas threw up on it, the way the cookies tasted and how many different kinds there were. Instead of all the running around trying to make things nice, decorating, yelling at them for touching the tree again, making them help me clean up for the hundredth time... then I guess I can be happy knowing they have such good memories and satitsfied that I did a good enough job.

**I did manage to get pictures of Santa done as well. The older two are too cool to sit with Santa - the Humbugs!**

Musings of a six year old

I got a laugh out of Nicholas today (as I do on most days), so I thought I would share the philosophy of my six year old. Nicholas had just taken a bath and was getting dressed. He likes to do things for himself now that he's a big kid instead of a baby (his words), but I still like to check on him. I went to his room and he was putting his jammies on and he said "Hey mommy this is how boys get dressed, first they put their underwear on. Next, they put on their pants and then they put on their shirts. And this is how girls get dressed, first they put on their underwear and then they put on their shirts and last is their pants. Cause girls don't want anyone to see their boobies." HAHAHA!

Well, at least I thought it was funny!

Thanksgiving

I'll be sappy and use this time to be thankful for all the blessings I have in my life.

I am thankful for my wonderful, handsome husband. He is always there when I need him. He always helps me when I need help. He is a financial wizard, wonderful provider and awesome father. He shows me a love like I have never known. I don't know what I would do without him. I am truly grateful for him.

I am thankful for my six children.

Amanda ~ she has grown to be a beautiful, intelligent young lady. And while she frustrates me at times, she couldn't be a better daughter. She helps me with her younger siblings. She helps around the house. And though she screams and pouts and displays all the "wonderful" qualities of teenagedom, she is truly a blessing to me. And I'm sure she wouldn't believe me, but I love her like no other as she is my first child.

Anthony ~ he is growing leaps and bounds. Taller than me and almost as tall as his dad. And while he and his father don't always get along, I'm sure Rich loves Anthony like no other because he is his oldest son. He is a strong, young man, who is willing to help * most times * and he is highly intelligent going for a 4.0 during his high school years.

Sarah ~ she is such a joy to be around. She is a no nonsense kind of girl, just like her Great Grandma J. She loves her little brothers and loves to mommy Nathan. Just the good parts, not the stinky ones, like diaper changing. She also loves to help in the kitchen. She is such a pretty little girl. With a mind of her own, she won't bend to anyone's will but her own. She is very stubborn and if she doesn't like something, she won't hesitate to tell you so. She is working on getting and keeping straight A's on her report card.

Zachary ~ he is such a little stinker. He is such a smart little boy, but he doesn't apply himself as he should. He's is such a smart little boy, but he's a slacker, so his teacher says. I think it's a way for him to get some extra love, he may fill he's missing. He is always vying for attention being in the middle of the pack, especially with his younger brothers needing more of my time. He is friendly and kind and reminds me the most of his dad.

Nicholas ~ he is a blessing in and of himself. He has overcome so much adversity. Whatever is thrown his way, he finds a way to survive. He has a will to live, plain and simple. He is a friendly, precocious little guy. He always wants to know "why", I believe that is simply the fact that he's six and exploring this world around him. Learning to read in kindergarten is just another adventure to him.

Nathaniel (Nathan) ~ he is the light that shines in all our lives. A little guy from the start, losing even more weight in his will to survive. He preserved and still keeps going to this day. He, like his brother Nicholas, has shown us true miracles. He is the youngest and will probably command my attention for quite some time. I can see alot of Rich in him too. He looks like Rich, especially when he makes certain facial gestures. It's odd seeing my husband as a little boy.

All three younger boys (Zach, Nick and Nate) have acted more like their dad than they will ever know. When life was bad and he got kicked around, he just got right back up and kept on fighting. That is what each of these little boys have done from the day they were born. Life throws them curves and they just keep playing. It's amazing to me how they just keep going. Zachary was our smallest baby at 4 lbs and 13 ozs (his twin sis was 5 lbs and 1 oz). He struggled to make his way here, so did Anthony, I lost alot of blood giving birth to him. Nathan was 7 lbs 7 ozs and lost so much weight that he went all the way down to 6 lbs. That's alot for a little newborn. I have already dicussed what amazing feats Nicholas has surpassed. All my children have this amazing will to live, to fight, and to get back up and do it all again. I love my family. I don't think I say that nearly enough. I'm very proud of my family and I love each and every one in it. I'm so happy I have such blessings in my life - all seven of them.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Backpack, Backpack

Backpack, backpack; Backpack, backpack
On your back I'm loaded up; with lots of things to do.
Anything that you might need; I've got inside for you.
Backpack, backpack; Backpack, backpack.... Yeah!

Okay, Sorry about that I just can't say backpack without thinking of that Dora the Explorer song, LOL!

Anyway...

My laziness has finally caught up to me. At the beginning of the school year, we bought the kids school supplies, just like everyone else does. Only after about six weeks of school, Nicholas spilled something on backpack. So it was laying on the floor in the laundry room waiting for me to clean or wash. It eventually got buried under a bunch of clothes. With six kids the laundry can get out of control if you don't stay on top of it. Well, I hadn't done the laundry for a couple of days and Nicholas was just taking his stuff to school in a plastic bag. Not so bad unless you consider the fact that he had to use the bag for about 3 weeks.

I know that was pretty bad, right? Not quite yet.

On Nicholas' birthday I finally found the backpack and washed and hung it up to dry out. Guess what Nicholas' teachers decided to get him for his birthday.... Yep, you guessed it, a backpack!

Talk about embarrassing! Rich said they probably thought that with six kids we couldn't afford to buy him one, LOL so they bought one for him.

I don't think my face could get any redder. Except for the fact that Nicholas decided he wanted to take his Jack Sparrow backpack to school, instead of the one the teachers bought.

Trick or Treat and Emergency Rooms

A week or two ago we did our Trick or Treating around our neighborhood. The day started off great, but I still didn't have a costume for Nathan. So I ran off with Nathan to find him one. Rich was going to run and get some more candy before everyone started stopping by our house. In our usual late, last minute run (it started at 2 and it was 1 when we started). Rich likes to make sure he tells everyone that he was always on time, even early for everything, before he met me. I'm always doing things at the last minute and I'm always late for everything.

Anyway, I found Nathan a lion costume at Old Navy. They had a kangaroo one as well, but the lion one fit him best. It was half off, can't beat a deal like that. Then as I'm getting in my car, Rich calls to tell me his car battery is dead. The battery has a hard time keeping charged, because the kids always leave the lights on in his car. So he couldn't buy the candy yet. I tell him that we have some candy in our room, because they did t-o-t at work and I brought home some candy for the kids.

At any rate, I tell him I'm done with the costume, so I'll get more candy. I never buy Halloween candy, Rich always does it. So imagine me standing in Walmart with a whole, aisle of nothing but candy. I call Rich to ask what kind to get. Then I call him again and again. Until I finally grab something I think is good. We always buy m&m's and candy bars. But I couldn't figure out what to get, as in price to quantity ratio. I'm so bad at math. Which is what makes me laugh about Rich, I could in a store where there is a sale, and call him to ask him what the price would be with the discount. He really is my calculator man, LOL!

I'm on my way home with candy and costume. I'm running late it's 2 now and already started. So Anthony is passing out the other candy and Amanda is getting the twins and Nicholas in their costumes. When I get home Anthony is relieved because he was running out of candy. Amanda and Sarah are fighting in the bathroom. Nicholas is ready. I find out later that Amanda used my eyeliner to draw a beard on Nick (he was a pirate). Nice, huh? Zachary went t-o-t with his best friend and his parents. Anthony and Amanda didn't t-o-t, they are way too cool to do that. Anthony kept passing out candy and Amanda went to the library to research for a school project.

We were only a half hour late and still had alot fun. While we were out, we ran into Zach and his friend and parents. They asked it Zach could play at their house when they were done t-o-t. I said yes, because I love that little boy and his parents are so nice.

About a half hour later the phone rings and it's K's mom. She said Zach fell down and hit his head on the sidewalk. He got back and started playing again, but after a while he and K noticed their was alot of blood coming from Zach's head. So they brought Zach home. They felt so bad and even offered to take Zach to the emergency room for us. But I told them we would take care of it. Rich stayed with the kids and I took Zach. He ended up with three staples in the back of his head.

What a day!!

adventures - when mom's not home

So you want to know what it's like to have six kids....

A few days ago, I had to take Nicholas to the doctor for yet another re-check for his ears. The doctor said we would be waiting it out for the next six months as to whether or not Nicholas would need tubes in his ears. And since the fluid is only in the left ear, they would have to decide whether or not they would just do one tube or both ears. This waiting crap sucks! In the meantime, I have to check to see if his balance is okay, and I have to call his pediatrican and find out exactly how many ear infections he's had and on what side. We go back in December. More gas, more parking, more waiting, more co-pays. But what else can you do! Thank God we have insurance because we would really be up the proverbal creek without it.

Anyway, the hospital/doctor is over an hour (two with rush hour traffic) away. Rich was home, sleeping off a migraine headache. I took Nicholas, Nathan and Sarah (so she could help out alittle bit, play with Nate, etc. since Rich couldn't come). His appt was for 3:15, I left at 2:30. I had to call them and tell them I would be late. That means we had overlapped the appt time, with the kids getting out of school, supposedly to avoid rush hour. Making me home in time for dinner.

The other kids came home from school between 3 and 3:30. Rich was still sleeping off his migraine. Our kids are perfectly able to take care of themselves. Amanda even babysits for us. So with Rich being home, even sleeping, everything should have been just fine.

Now you know what's coming, right?

The kids always come home hungry and raid the cupboards and fridge the minute they walk in the door. This day wasn't any different. Anthony immediately went on a search for food the minute his feet were in the door. He found some french fries and chicken strips and went about preheating the oven. Well, suddenly the oven lit up in flames. Anthony thought he would handle the situation all by himself and tries to put water on it. Umm, yeah you read that right. And then when that didn't work, he ran outside (oh yeah - outside) and grabbed some peat moss and dirt out of the flower tree thing. What he thought that would do is beyond me. But, when that didn't work, he told Amanda to get their dad. Amanda runs into our bedroom, wakes up Rich tells him what's up and he jumps up and heads for the kitchen. Rich opens the cupboard looking for the salt, of course the container's empty. He then looks under the sink for the fire extinguisher. It's not there, big surprise. He yells at Amanda to get one out of his workshop. When she gets back with the fire extinguisher, Rich quickly gets the fire out.

Imagine my surprise when I got home with one baby who pretty much cried the whole way home, an older child (who was supposed to be helping) sleeping in the back seat, and one more precious little boy (that would be Nicholas) who had puked halfway home and all over the seat of the van.

Now, I have six children and a broken oven. Nice that it will need to be replaced right around Christmas time, huh? Rich went out and bought a toaster/convection oven to use in the meantime.

There are plenty of adventures that go on around this house, with or without mom. Now, doesn't that make you want to go out and have six perfectly precious children of your own?

....In Shining Armour

I've been wanting to share this story for awhile now, and just haven't done it yet.

This summer Rich wanted me to go fishing with him. I hate going fishing, I am so not an outdoorsy person (there's bugs and it's hot and physical, and you can't really look pretty doing all this stuff with the humidity, etc)! But I went with him, because he wanted me too.

We went to a creek and donned hip waders. They are the kind that go up over your hips and have these suspender things attached to them. I'm not a tall person (only 5'2") so his spare pair of waders were huge on my feet (I wear a size 7 and the boots were a size 11) and went clear up to my boobs. I'm sure I made a lovely picture in them, LOL! He also wore his fishing vest which was loaded down with bait and hooks, stuff like that, plus he carried his fishing pole. I carried the net, and my pole (why do I have a pole when I don't like to fish, because everyone in our family has to have one of course, it wouldn't be practical not to have one).

So we're loaded down with all this equipment. It's hard to walk in the water. Especially in big honkin', heavy boots. The water isn't deep in some places, but I'm freaking out, cause I can't swim. We're trying to fish. He caught a couple of fish, but they were little ones, so he threw them back in. He's asking me to give him worms to bait his hook. I can't stand it. I'm such a girly girl!

We walk for what seems like miles. I'm sure he is frustrated with all my whining. He tells me there's a bridge not too far and we can get out of the water and hike back to the car. So we're walking and walking and we don't see any bridge. It's getting darker now, the sun is setting and we're in some woods. He asks me if I want to keep going or climb out of the water and just hike it back from where we were. I say I've had enough and we start to climb out. Only it's all uphill. My boots were so heavy and felt like they were pulling me back down into the water, which now looks so dark like an abyss or something. I'm sliding all over the place and bitching about it.

Rich is all calm and just keeps plowing ahead. We get to this huge steep hill about 9 or 10 feet up pure hill and it's the only way out. Rich just scales right up it, and I get about half way. When my feet start going out from under me, I'm sliding down the hill and it's really dark down there, so I'm crying and grasping my way slowly up this big ass hill...

When all of a sudden I see this hand come down in front of me. It was like God reaching down to help me up. Only when I look up it's my darling husband - reaching for me. I started to cry harder now. I was worried I would hurt his back being fat and heavy (see my other blog). And his back is already hurt, so I really don't want to have him help me. He pulls the fishing pole and net out of my hand. And reaches down for me again. He just simply said "Charlene take my hand, I won't let you fall." So I'm crying and saying Richard, I don't want to hurt you. And he grabs my hand and pulls me up.

Now this is kind of symbolic of our realationship. He is always rescuing me, and saving me, reaching down and pulling me up. But for some reason, I was overcome by the whole thing. I cried and sobbed the whole way to the car. Rich was trying to make me laugh and singing. Always trying to help me.

We walked for miles (or at least it seemed that way, over rail road tracks, we came to a rail trussle and of course since we had to climb up that huge hill to get out of the water, we now have to go down a huge hill to get to the car. Rich made his way down, said he would catch me if I fall. But I was so scared because the boots were dragging me down, making do splits with my legs. I was so afraid. I eventually made my way down, when Rich pointed out how close I was to the ground and I wouldn't have really fallen because he would have caught me anyway. I start crying all over again.

Why does he constantly stand up and save me, reach down and help me up, when I fall, he's right there to help pull me up? Over and over again. I know I'm not the best wife, I constantly do things that annoy him. Things that would probably drive any other man over the edge. But he's still here and he loves me. Really loves me. I really am the luckiest girl on the planet!

I'm sure it will be a couple of years before he will ask me to fishing with him again...

Ramblings

Where to start? A few things have bugged me or freaked me out the past few days.

First, an old lady died at the nursing home. Not a big deal where I work, they are old and lived their lives and die, totally natural. But the circumstances around this woman's passing was odd.

A few nights ago, while V (a person I work with) and I were doing our last rounds, an old lady off another hall was screaming and screeching, it sounded hideous. She was freaked out and said there was someone in her room, watching her (no one was there). She started screaming "They're coming for you, they're coming for you!" over and over again. So the aides on that hall got her up and took her to the nurses station, where she continued to scream.

V and I got done with our halls first and decided to help out the other two workers finish their halls. V and I walked into the room to change a lady, when we turned on the light and walked up to her bed, we both knew she was gone. But both of us were shocked and just stood and looked at each other for a second, and then we both ran out and got the nurse. Now I have worked there for over four years and V has been there longer than me, and we have both dealt with death before, but for some reason, we were both off balance by the situation.

The RN came in, checked her and indeed she was gone. When we were finished and came out of the room, the woman who had been screaming was silent. Not only that, but she was sleeping and looked spent. It was so freaky! Did that woman actually see someone coming for the other lady? How did she know?

I have been somewhat disturbed by this for days. I'm so afraid of dying. Even when I was an avid church goer, I still feared death. Like what happens when you die, do you actually truly get to see your loved ones, will they know you, what happens to your body, your soul, can you look down and see how your family is doing, etc. Can you see why this is bothering me so? I get like this for days, and freak out, and then I forget about it and move on, until something like the above happens and then I freak out again.

Maybe, I need to go to church again and seek out Christ and then I will find peace, I don't know. I know I haven't been a good Christian in years, a decade, going on two, but I do believe in God, and I'm sure that's not enough. Oh, I could go on like this forever....

Another thing that has bothered me, although I have no idea why because I should be used to it by now, is the fact that my mother came down and visited my sister this weekend and didn't stop by to see me or the kids. She lives about three hours away. She is always coming down to go to the dentist, to see her sisters, my siblings; but she never makes time to visit me. The last time she came down (a couple of weeks ago) she called me and said she was down here, to go the dentist, put flowers on my father's grave, and visit my aunt.

She made a big point to say that she didn't even know my phone number and had to call her husband to get it. And all she wanted to know was if she could use my bathroom before she went to her appointment. It's nice to know that I make a nice rest stop for her! She spent more time in the bathroom than she did visiting with me. She barely acknowledged Nathan (granted he was sleeping, but still). She didn't make arrangements to come back and see the other kids after school or anything. That makes twice that she has been down this way and did this (in just a month - she's done it more than that before).

She can't even say that it's because I don't visit her, because I have been there more than my brothers have, my sister hasn't even been there once. She just irks me! I have no idea why I feel like this, I'm a big girl now and have a family of my own. And it has always been this way for me. Everyone always came before me. But it still bothers me. I was in therapy once and the therapist told me I should tell my mother that I didn't feel loved by her as a child. And my mother said, oh you were loved, you were your grandfather's favorite. Well, guess what, he died when I was 3 and he wasn't my mother!

Enough of that, cause I could go forever about it as well...

Nicholas took a pair of scissors and basically scalped himself while I was at work. Some patches are so close to his head, he'll probably have to get his head shaved to make it all even. Ohh the things kids will do!

I broke my glasses. I can't stand wearing glasses anyway. I want contacts so bad. I had them when I was younger, but haven't gotten them since. Now I'll end up with a scratched nose until I can get these stupid things fixed. My eyes are getting bad, I can tell. I wake up in the morning and everything is a big blurry mess, and not just from having bad eye sight. I'm afraid, I have glaucoma or cataracts or something worse than that. It sucks to have bad eyesight! Did I mention that I hate to wear glasses? I hate how they get all fogged up in the winter and rain, or when it's humid. I hate being blinded by the sun, because I can't wear sunglasses. It just sucks!

I'm done rambling.

For now, anyway.....

My knight....

I wanted to say how lucky I am to be married to Rich. He is such an excellent provider. Even after he was hurt; his good financial planning, the pension he recieved from work, and the savings and investments he made from years of working overtime ensured all our needs were met. Our standard of living increased every single year that we've been married.

I really do take him for granted. The man is truly amazing. I don't think there is anything that he can't do. He changed the motor and replaced an axel in my car while we were dating. He built an addition on our last residence right down to digging the footer and laying the block himself. He can fix almost anything, I couldn't count the number of VCR's, sweepers, lawn mowers, toys, bicycles and other things he has fixed. I have watched him take broken things that had parts missing or destroyed and manufacture new parts for it in his 9x11 workshop and fix it good as new and the only payment he ever receives is the smile on his childrens faces when he hands them back their repaired toy.

Everyone's good at something the saying goes, but Rich seems to be good at everything. At times it makes me upset with him, because he makes solving problems seem so easy and I struggle with whatever I do. He once told me that he wasn't born knowing everything, but rather everything he knows he had to learn himself first, but there seems to be no limit to his knowledge. He can repair an engine, wire an entire house for electricity, install and solder copper water pipes, finish concrete, SOLVE MY CHILDRENS 9TH GRADE ADVANCED ALGEBRA HOMEWORK (you don't even want to know about the math that he can do just in his head without writing anything down - I call him my calculator man). Every job he has ever had from busboy to computer operator to prison guard he has done well and been promoted at every opportunity. He can even build a computer from scratch with just a box full of the right parts. He has a work ethic that is so much higher than my own that I couldn't reach his with a ladder. This seems to be a common trait in his family and I know it frustrates him to see such a poor work ethic in his own children. Even though he has six of them to support they are all spoiled. Each one of them has far more than either him or I had growing up. This man who had to take lettuce sandwiches to school because there wasn't even bologna or cheese for his lunch as a child has given his children Gameboys, TV's VCR's and DVD players in their rooms. There were 4 children in my family and we all had to share one room (talk about a lack of privacy). Despite having more children than my parents had my kids are 2 to a bedroom, and he has even offered to convert the downstairs pantry, and garage into bedrooms for them.

I will call his childhood unpleasant and leave it at that, but as bad as it was it produced in him all these good traits that I admire. If you are poor and your car breaks down and you don't have a way to work or money to get it fixed, then you walk to work each day until you manage to fix it yourself. I realize now that the reason he has these skills and the reason that he makes them seem effortless is that to him they were survival skills growing up. His father died at a young age and his mother was absent and ambivalent and distraught over the loss of her husband. There was literally noone for him to rely on except his grandmother (and he often walked the five miles each way to her house because it was the one place he always felt loved and one of the reasons I loved her so much) then you learn to rely on yourself even if your only 9 years old when it happens.

I can not tell you enough how amazing this man is. He sacrificed his own dream of going to grad school and went to work full time at a very dangerous job that he hated just so I could stay home with our children and have a traditional family. He has saved me from the consequences of my own actions more times than I can count and I know he paid a price in suffering everytime he did. But what is truly amazing about this man I am married to, is his indominatable human spirit. His absolute refusal to give up no matter what the odds are against him. Four years ago, Rich was in so much pain that all he could do was lay on the couch with a heating pad under his back and another wrapped around his leg. He had to roll onto the floor and then climb up the furniture to stand up. He literally couldn't take a step and put any pressure on his left leg without screaming in agony even though he was taking both oxicotin and vicodin at the time. He couldn't dress himself, and he couldn't even use the bathroom himself because he would lose all feeling and control of his legs after a minute or two and fall off the toilet and onto the floor. I know that at that point he was in such misery that he really just wanted to die. If it weren't for his children who would have grown up fatherless without him, and his friends like Vince and Rich S. who spent hours talking to him at this time I am sure I would be a widow today. Praise God that I'm not.

There is a poem by rudyard kipling called IF.

IF.....

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!


MY Husband is all that and more and from that low point that was filled with pain and suffering he had yet another surgery, he forced himself to walk four hours after waking up, drainage tubes and all, dragging an IV rack with him and using it for balance. within a month he was able to walk 5 MILES with a cane. Then he found the courage and the will to go back to school after 15 years at the age of 37. He was accepted into WVU's graduate counseling program which was no small feat in itself since WVU's masters counseling program ranks 7th in the entire country. Graduated Magna Cum Laude with a 3.87 GPA. Worked a 40 hour a week internship despite having insomnia that often resulted in him going to work on only 45 minutes sleep, sometimes for several days in a row. In constant pain because his pain management doctor couldn't understand that it is more painful having to drive 1-2 hours each way and work an 8 hour day than it is to go to school and therefore he made no adjustment in his medication. Did such a good job that his supervisor told the school that he was one of the three best interns they had over the past 14 years. He did this while he watched his grandmother, who had practically raised him, die a very painful death of bone cancer. He came home exhausted and then almost everyday he got back into his car and drove another hour in pain to be with her at the nursing home. He also traveled to Florida during this time to be with his mother whose health is also failing and still managed somehow to complete the number of hours for his internship.

Rich often talks about his father with very deep affection. His father died when he was only 9, but in those 9 years his father shaped and molded him into a man that very few other men can measure up to. He defies all odds. He suffered this tragic injury when he ran into the middle of a prison knifefight in order to come to the aide of another officer (how one finds the courage to do such a thing I'll never know). It's this type of tradgedy that often destroys a family financially, emotionally, and spiritually. Yet somehow, mystically this incredible man ensured that his family did not suffer one bit. In fact we have a newer bigger house. I drive a car that not only did he buy for me brand new but told me to pick out whatever car/van I wanted and I got my power windows and my captain's chairs and every single thing I asked for. The new house is in the nicest neighborhood in town and I have a 1/2 acre for my kids to play on (our last house had a postage stamp size yard). He even had an addition put on the house (he paid for the shell to be put up and did the entire inside himself with a friend although it took some time for him to finish it since his injury limits the amount of work he can do).

Forced to retire at 37 he still managed to ensure that we had medical insurance for LIFE and my kids til they are 23. Not once did this amazing man ever let his own suffering prevent him from meeting his responsibilities as a father. What should have destroyed us financially he somehow turned it into a blessing. When I was pregnant with Nathan and complications arose and I was worried that I would lose the baby and that my job would endager my child he didn't even blink before he told me to stop working, and not to worry about the money because HE would take care of it, and if that cause a problem at work to tell them I didn't need the job anyway. If that were not enough Rich has bought me opals, emeralds, rubies, pink sapphires, diamonds and more diamonds. I am so used to having everything we need and most of what we want that I often have to be reminded how lucky I am, not to mention how spoiled I am.

Is it little wonder then that I get down on my hands and knees to put on this man's socks and shoes every morning because I know that often he can't and when he does so himself it is often with great pain. He is a male chauvanist in so far as he believes it is his responsibility to provide for this family and he won't let even this injury prevent him from doing so. He's a chauvanist in that he believes he is this family's protector and he often saves us from the consequences of our own actions. I have been barefoot pregnant and in the kitchen for 15 years and I am happy being a homemaker. Rich is a male chauvanist, and he is MY male chavanist and I would not trade him for the world (george clooney included).

This one's mine go find your own :)

Update on Nicholas Re: tonsils and adenoids

So this summer, Nicholas had his tonsils and adenoids removed. He did really well, a good bit of whinning during his recovery, lots and lots of popsicles and ice-cream, Scooby movies and books. He is feeling fine now, I have not noticed any snoring, apnea, sleep walking or anything like that. He stills breathes alittle loud on occasion, but nothing like before.

We took him to the hospital on Wednesday, and the doc said he looks great. He does have some fluid in his left ear, so we have to go back in 6 weeks to get that checked out, but so far so good. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he doesn't have to have tubes put in his ears. The kid has already had 2 surgeries in five years. Not to mention a heart murmur due to a hole in his heart (it eventually closed on its own before he turned 6 months old). I just want my baby to be okay -- no more problems, please!!!

Nicholas the Kindergartener

Nicholas is doing really well so far in school. Getting along, making friends, learning lots of new things. He has a teacher and a teacher's helper. The teacher's helper is a friend of mine and neighbor. So she gives me little details every now and then. Like Nicholas is very helper, he holds the door open for everyone to pass through, if someone drops something on the floor, Nicholas will bend and get it, he sits still and listens during story time, etc. So I'm really proud of my little man. I miss him like crazy while he's a school.

The other day he came home from school with a huge smile on his face. He proudly told me that he used his allowance money at school to buy an ice-cream bar. I asked him if he liked the ice-cream bar. He told me that he didn't eat it yet (uh oh!) and that he brought it home in his lunch box (that box is insulated, what are the chances?) So I quickly grabbed the lunch box out of his back pack. And looked inside. There was nothing more than a stick and wrapper, and some melted chocolate in the bottom of the bag. I felt really bad for him and I told him it was melted. He said oh well (awwww), like it was nothing. I'm not sure if he was even disappointed. I think he just thought he was a cool, big kid for buying something by himself. I think I was more disappointed than he was. I told him I'd give him another dollar so he could buy another one tomorrow, but that he had to eat it as soon as he bought this time.

So my little man is getting along, making friends and learning lots of new things...
And growing up!!

Same old, same old

Not much going on today, just basic everyday stuff. I need to go to the grocery store, clean, do laundry, etc. I don't have to work today, so that will be nice to get things done, without a time limit.

The other day I left the mess. I just didn't care. So I didn't do anything, no dishes, no garbage, no kids chores, just mommy chores. Thinking when Amanda came home she would see that there wasn't any little blue dish fairies doing her work for her. I figured she would clean it up, knowing she gets allowance based on what she does. She didn't touch a thing. Not only that, there was even more of a mess. So when I got home at midnight, I woke her up and made her do it then. She was not happy with me, but I didn't care. Yesterday, I only had to tell her once and she did them all and cleaned some more without my asking her too. It was nice not to have to yell.

Today, I want to clean out the garage and dig out my fall/halloween decorations. I love this time of year, especially halloween. It's so much fun! I love going to the farm and picking out pumpkins. I usually get a couple of those and two corn stalks, plus a bale of hay. The farmer is really nice and helps load up the car if he's around. Sometimes, he's not and there is an honor system. He has prices for everything listed and you just write down what you took and leave the money in a big jar. I discovered this about two years or so ago. A friend of ours told me about it. What's funny about that is, this friend didn't grow up around here, but I did and never knew about this place, LOL! Shows how much I pay attention to things!

I'm so freakin' angry

I worked so hard yesterday, just trying to clean the kitchen before I went to work and last night when I got home it was trashed.

The kids didn't do their chores last night, so I told at least Amanda to do the dishes before she went to school. She totally half-assed it! There are still dishes everywhere and there is crud and crap in the bottom of the sink. I could just scream!! I'm tired of being the only one who cleans up around here. It is so freaking frustrating!! Now I have to work again today and clean the same shit that I already cleaned yesterday. I feel like the kids are totally taking advantage of me, and I can't really even do anything about it because I'm not home when they are. I don't even have time to post today, because I need to get this mess cleaned up.

So much to do, so little time

What a day this is turning out to be!

First, the younger kids missed their bus (missed it yesterday too), so I had to take them to school.

Then, I made myself some coffee and when I got my Coffee Mate out of the fridge I noticed that it was tipped over and spilled all over the place. Pisses me off, cause I really liked that flavor (chocolate caramel - Yum). So anyway, I had to clean the whole stinkin' fridge because it was everywhere. And that stuff is sticky too!

I made some more zucchini bread, and washed about two loads of laundry. I'm so far behind on the laundry that it isn't even funny.

I had to do the kids' chores, because they didn't do them. I don't mind doing them every once in a while, but when it turns into everyday then I start to get frustrated. And I really hate doing Anthony's job (taking out the trash) it's such a nasty thing to do.

I cleaned the microwave and bleached the kitchen garbage can. Nathan pooped everywhere so I had to clean him and change his clothes, again.

Oh and did I mention I have to work today? Yep that's right I'm working 3-11 shift, so I need to get ready to go here in a few minutes. And I still have lots of stuff that needs to be done before I can leave. Will I ever get caught up and have things organized, who knows? I do know that right now I'm suffering from CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome). I would be so embarrased if anyone knocked on my door right now. You would think that someone who has six children would be the most organized person on the planet, but not me.

It's been a long time

It's been so long since I've blogged. My computer crashed and died forever, so I lost my favorites list and couldn't figure out how to log in and blog. Very frustrating! But dh got a new laptop so he gave me his old one to use until I figure out what kind of computer I want. Life has been very busy, I now have five children going to school and one little guy at home. It's weird and very quiet when the older kids go to school. But I'm enjoying spending time with my little fellow. He is such a good little boy. Although sometimes it's a little harder to get things done because Nathan likes to follow me around endlessly. I think he's just lost without his older siblings. I must get off of here and get some things done, because the kids will be coming home from school soon and all hell will break loose, LOL!

2007, here I come!

Last year was a rough one, my computer crashed and burned. I'm patiently waiting for a new one (Rich has a laptop that I use every now and then). Our sewer line backed up not once, but three times. Cost a fortune to repair. Amanda broke window and busted a whole through the wall. Don't ask!

At the end of last year, we found out that Rich's grandmother had cancer. She was 87 years old, we realistically knew that one day she'd die, we just weren't prepared for it. Grandma died on January 4th. The wierd thing is, I knew. When the phone rang and it was Rich's uncle, I knew that's why he was calling. The night before she passed, we went to visit with her, I hadn't seen her since she got sick. As soon as Rich said, "Grandma, Charlene's here." She smiled so big. It was a blessing. The whole time I was there, she smiled at me. Rich said, once she saw me, she was ready to go. She had already seen him a few times, his sister and her other grandson and granddaughter, but she hadn't seen me, until that night. He said it was like her saying Okay, I know they'll be alright now.

For the life of me, I don't know why that woman loved me, but she did. Rich always said he thought his grandmother loved me more than him, lol. Not true, but funny none the less. I don't know if it was the fact that I gave her so many great-grandbabies or something else. But I know she cared more about me than my own mother did. She took me under her wing and I became her granddaughter, not granddaughter-inlaw. I will miss her so much.

Things can't get much worse for 2007. At least I hope not. I would like to have one good year.