Let's face it...we've all been through it.
Mom Guilt
People ask me all the time 'how do you handle six kids and give them all attention?"
The truth is I honestly don't...I can't...and I feel kind of bad about it too.
It's not that my children lack love, attention, sympathy or the like. I'm pretty good about all that...but I can't do everything and the last time I checked noone duplicated me into a clone.
But, I still feel bad about it.
I can't remember every little thing that each one has going on, unless of course I write it down and even then, some things still get forgotten. Yeah, I remember all the super important stuff...but there are plenty of doctor appointments, dentist appointments, sporting activities, book fairs, birthday party invites, snacks, story times and more that slip my mind.
I'm only human after all....I do make mistakes....and I feel terribly guilty afterwards...I mean like for days afterwards.
Then, there are those times when the kids decide to throw some guilt my way, just because.
you never did crafts with me.
you never take me anywhere with you
you never read stories to me
you don't go to my concerts or games
you don't help me with my school projects.
you never brought my {insert whatever forgotten item was left behind} to school for me
It's constant and it comes from all of them.
Mostly it is stupid things that really don't matter or things that they just don't remember me doing with them. Sometimes, things went undone, because....um, Mommy did work - even if it was part time, Mommy worked and couldn't be there for every single thing. Maybe Mommy didn't make as many crafts with you, because you decided to make your own art...by smearing poopy diaper messes on your bedroom walls and Mommy was a bit busy scrubbing that off. Maybe Mommy didn't read you stories because you were too busy fighting over who sat where on Mommy's lap. Maybe Mommy didn't help you with your school projects because you didn't tell Mommy about them until the day they were due. Maybe Mommy gets tired of running to the school 3-4 days a week...so that the office staff says 'who forgot what this time?'
Then, there are those times when the kids decide to throw some guilt my way, just because.
you never did crafts with me.
you never take me anywhere with you
you never read stories to me
you don't go to my concerts or games
you don't help me with my school projects.
you never brought my {insert whatever forgotten item was left behind} to school for me
It's constant and it comes from all of them.
Mostly it is stupid things that really don't matter or things that they just don't remember me doing with them. Sometimes, things went undone, because....um, Mommy did work - even if it was part time, Mommy worked and couldn't be there for every single thing. Maybe Mommy didn't make as many crafts with you, because you decided to make your own art...by smearing poopy diaper messes on your bedroom walls and Mommy was a bit busy scrubbing that off. Maybe Mommy didn't read you stories because you were too busy fighting over who sat where on Mommy's lap. Maybe Mommy didn't help you with your school projects because you didn't tell Mommy about them until the day they were due. Maybe Mommy gets tired of running to the school 3-4 days a week...so that the office staff says 'who forgot what this time?'
I guess I could let all that guilt eat me alive....but at the end of the day, my kids know that I love them, would do just about anything for them and that's really all that matters.
that, and one day....they are going to be dealing with their own parental guilt.
hmmm.....turn about is fair play, after all.....good luck with that!
that, and one day....they are going to be dealing with their own parental guilt.
hmmm.....turn about is fair play, after all.....good luck with that!
3 comments:
I agree turn about is such fair play. I can't count the amount of times I have gone 'oh' when I have had a mommy moment of guilt and realized that's how my mother must have felt.
We do our best and as long as the kids know they are loved and cherished who can ask for more.
agreed!
Oh yeah my Grandma had an expression about guilt being a side effect of giving birth -that's the polite verson but now that i have children I understand it
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