Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Things Only A Mom Would Do

Having been a mother for 16+ years, I have done and said a lot of weird things. Things I never could of imagined doing before I became a mother, like smelling my kids' butts when they were babies to see if they pooped. I mean Who Does That?!

Only A Mother Would ~

*Pick her child's boogers.
*Take a drink with their child's "floaties" in it.
*Chew their children's already chewed gum.
*Clean up puke and then sit down and eat dinner.
*Talk about poop (consistency, color, smell) all while eating a meal.
*Cross her legs when she sneezes, coughs, or laughs. (Come on you know what I mean!!!)
*Smell nasty bottles or sippy cups to see just how old they are.
*Debate whether their kids poopy underpants is just nasty enough to throw away or try to save.
*Stick their fingers in their kids diapers to check for poop.
*Lick their thumbs and wipe food or dirt off their kids faces.
*Spit in their hands to smooth down their child's cowlicks.
*Ooooh and Aaaah over every little scribble.
*Sing silly songs in public restrooms to get their child to go potty.
*Walk straight into the men's restrooms, without a second thought, so their little boys can pee in the urinal - cause the kid thinks it's a cool, big boy thing to do.
*Say "Don't lick the dog....your sister....your brother!".
*Catch vomit in her hands.
*Memorize all the words to their child's favorite cartoon theme song.
*Enjoy listening to their children's favorite songs, even when their child isn't in the room.
*Make up stories about what may of happened to their child's favorite hamster (who probably ended up as cat food).
*Think nothing of spending hours in the car, taking their children to their activities.
*Think nothing of "saying a few words" about the pet fish they have to flush.
*Drive 3 hours round trip, out of the way, to retrieve a "lovey" that was left behind.
*Say "We pee in the potty, not in the toy box."
*Say "Don't brush the dog's teeth with your brother's toothbrush!".
*Count out the exact number of each m&ms, chicken nuggets, fries, etc. just so you don't have to listen to your kids fight over who got more of what.
*Let her kids spit out gum or candy in her hands when their kid decides they don't like it.

Feel free to add your own to the list......

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