Saturday, August 21, 2010

Mixed Emotions

This time last year, I couldn't wait for school to start.

This year, I'm hanging on to summer...I'm not sure if it's the fact that Nathan will be going to school or if it's something else. All I know is I'm enjoying this time that I have with all my kids. Sure my kids drive me nuts sometimes (I'm not perfect), but I've truly have been enjoying spending time with them. It's been a real pleasure playing with them and making crafts and just hanging out in general. 

Maybe it's the fact that time keeps slipping from my grasp.  This time next year, my oldest baby will be preparing to leave the nest by going to college.  I'm not ready for that either.  Life just keeps changing on me.  I wish I could turn back the clock or slow the time down so I could enjoy it more. 

It's weird that when they are little we just don't take the time to appreciate how precious those moments are.  We are simply in survival mode...trying to get through all those sleepless nights, those mounds of dirty diapers, those frustrating potty training/poopy accidents that drove us nuts and made us wish that we could fast forward past all those difficult parenting trials.  If only we would have realized how fleeting time is.  How much we would miss those times, yes - even the messy ones. 

It's hard to keep ourselves in check when our kids are spilling koolaid on the floor we just cleaned.  Or asking us to read the same storybook over and over again til we feel like our tongues are going to fall off.  Or give endless kisses and hugs and wiping those slobbers off our faces.  We get frustrated and just wish bedtime would hurry up and get there.  During those moments we aren't thinking about how much we wish they wouldn't grow up and leave us.  All we see is the mess and chaos. 

I have about nine more days until school starts and I intend to enjoy the moment.  Now whether or not my kids drive me to the funny farm during those days remains to be seen, but for now I'm embracing the time and hanging on to my babies as long as I can.
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